hi world, it’s me again, the compulsive blogger. i hesitate to start this because all i need is to start another project and then over-analyze it into extinction. but here i am, so evidently i didn’t hesitate too much. i’ve decided blogging is hard for me on many levels. for one, as already alluded to, i tend to over-analyze, which means it’s hard for me to construct entire sentences, much less cohesive short essays without scrapping it before i can make a first edit. second, words scare me. i’m a strong believer in the power of words and sometimes putting ideas, circumstances, beliefs, etc., into words makes it all that more real and, heaven forbid, i might have to do something about it! i can easily throw ideas and thoughts around in my head with little coincidence to anyone else, but as soon as it’s in words for everyone to read it creates instant accountability. and really, who honestly likes being held accountable? sure, it’s healthy, but not fun. oh, and then there’s that vulnerability thing. not that i plan on pouring my heart out about boys and revealing my inner angst on a regular basis, but i also realize that i have a lot of acquaintances who are not privy to my day-to-day activities, or some of my beliefs that are bound to make an appearance. i can hear it now… “OMG, i read jenn’s blog the other day…she drinks margaritas! we need to stage an intervention…” or “did you know that jenn is a christian? total whack job.” or maybe “dude, jenn has eaten mexican food three times this week. someone feed her a salad.”
but when it comes down to it, i mean, really…do people care THAT much? i probably have nothing to worry about.
ALL of that being said, i’ve decided the benefits have the potential to outweigh all of the above. writing has always been something i’ve enjoyed, but never really utilized outside of work/school. and even though words are scary, it really does help me mull through ideas and put things into perspective. also, i’ve come to the very scary realization that i’m beginning to forget things. my college roommate recently moved back in with me and she has a memory of elephantesant (i made that word up i think) proportions. she’ll be all, “hey jenn, remember that really big event we attended in college? you like gave a speech in front of 2,000 people and got this award and sang a solo. and i did an interpretive movement to bette midler’s ‘wind beneath my wings.’” and i’ll be all like “uuhh…nope, don’t remember.” so i want to remember those things. i may also happen to have, oh, let’s say several hours a day of free time due to a less-than-demanding (currently) desk job, and a girl can only surf facebook so much. evidently people don’t update their status/pictures/profile every 5 seconds as my just-as-frequent page refreshing would suggest. also, it’s a FREE hobby. and if it’s free, it’s me.
ok, that’s all for now. i may have some more words of an introductory nature to come, but my fingers are tired, and most people probably haven’t read this far. except for my mom – hi mom!
